The Beer-Every-Mile SF Half Marathon: 13 Beers in 13 Miles

Bleahhhhh!

Several of you told me that I was “going to die” if I drank 13 beers while running the San Francisco Half Marathon. I did not die.

I puked three times, blacked out for miles 11 and 12, and needed five hours to finish. This is my story.

This blog declared its intentions to drink 13 beers over the 13.1-mile SF Half Marathon. Realize that it is not possible to run a half marathon while carrying a 12-pack of beer. Sure, you could try… but the beer would get shaken up and explode upon opening each can. And then no one gets to drink any.

Perhaps even more problematic are the goddamned do-gooders and paramedics onhand in case of medical emergencies. They will take your swerving, stumbling, and vomiting as signs of delirium or fatigue, and then get all interventionny and try to take away your beer. That can not happen.

See? The jug holds three beers.

So I bought three beers at a time, and poured each 12-ounce bottle or can into a 36-ounce water jug. Holding the jug while I run, I can keep that fucker pretty steady — far more so than water bottles strapped on to my belt.

I studied the course map in detail to plot each beer stop, which is critical because miles 5-10 are on the Golden Gate Bridge and its on-ramps. Christ fucking knows there’s no liquor stores on that bridge.

And to avoid the do-gooders, I made like Mayor Newsom and blew off registering. Then I started the race at 1pm, instead of the proper 6am start time. That way I wasn’t trouble on the race course, I was just some random afternoon jogger with an open container. I’m not aware they even prosecute for that in this town.

I arrive at the start line at 1pm, and figure I need to pound that first whole beer during some warmup yoga stretches. I can only carry the equivalent of three beers at once, and face a 5-mile liquor store gap later. Logistically speaking, I need to drink more than five beers over the first five miles, because during miles 5-10 I will only be able to carry the equivalent of three beers.

That is not a mouthful of puke, it is Tecate.

So after the first can of beer (Tecate, 4.55% Alcohol content) I’m just refilling the jug again and again, noting that 12 fluid ounces counts as one beer. I will need to drink 156 fluid ounces over this race to hit my goal.

I am quickly gifted some other runner’s used bib. The name printed on it is “Sarah”. This will fool law enforcement if there’s any trouble.

I begin the half marathon at 1:10pm. Already I have to pee at 1:12pm.

At Mile One, I've already finished three beers.

The first four miles are fantastic and my pace is quite good. Beer is great for running, the exercise combined with alcohol gives you a crazy fun euphoria. You tend to really blast the iPod the drunker you get, or at least I do. You’re sweating a lot of the alcohol out, so you’re not getting too weighed down by it. Yet.

The High Life.

Beers 2-4 are Hoegaardens (5% alcohol), and we’re flyin’. At the Fisherman’s Wharf 7-11, I deduce that a standard 40-ounce beer will fill my jug (plus provide me a big bonus sip!). So that Miller High Life Genuine Draft (4.2% alcohol) will get me through Fort Mason and the Marina.

And is that Pope Ratzinger up there on the Wax Museum billboard? Next to Eminem? Really? If I’m Carlos Santana, my attorney is serving their ass a cease and desist for putting me next to those two.

There is no fatigue or suckiness yet, and being a guy I can pee just about anywhere at Crissy Field. I’m way ahead on my beer pace and running great. I refill the jug with Modelo Especial (6% alcohol) at a liquor store near Palace of Fine Arts, but I waste a half hour trying to find said liquor store. Not many of them there. “Fine Arts” indeed.

I feel like they don't want me here.

The trouble begins on the Golden Gate Bridge on-ramp, because I am in a place where pedestrians aren’t supposed to be. These areas were closed to traffic this morning during the real marathon, but now this highway is properly crowded with speeding cars. I have to occasionally do some Frogger kind of shit to make sure I stay step-for-step on the exact half marathon course.

The beautiful Golden Gate Bridge!

Running on the bridge sucks. I am now on Beer 9, and it’s beginning to taste quite gross. It is insanely cold and windy up there on a suspension bridge over the ocean. I’m just in a tank top here, and even the running is not warming me up. If you’re a pedestrian walking the bridge, you’re dressed for this. If you’re running a marahon, you’re not. The people who did this at 6am must have been hating life.

I may look happy, but I am not.

And you just can not meet any girls up on that bridge. Especially when you are wheezing and spitting upchuck and they all have their boyfriends with them.

The walking breaks are becoming way too common. The beer is definitely affecting my energy level in a negative way now. But yes, it is very very beautiful up there.

Probably the stupidest thing I did all day.

You know how they say alcohol affects your judgment? After the bridge, I decide to run across eight lines of highway traffic because the view on the other side looks nicer. I am fortunately not flattened by oncoming traffic. Nor am I nailed by any authorities for being on foot running across a highway obviously carrying an open beer. Turns out the view is the same on the other side.

Right after my first dry-heave of the day.

Back on land again, the Presidio component has lots of hills. I’m too much much of a wreck at this moment to run if there’s any uphill grade. So unacceptably high amounts of walking are happening here. The view is incredible and all, but most cities’ footraces don’t occur partially on a mountain. Plus I am on my tenth beer. The beer consumption is slowing way down, and I really have to force myself to swallow it.

I have my first dry-heave on this beautiful windy mountain road in The Presidio, but cannot get myself to vom. I wish I could, I feel awful.

Abandoned his and hers running tops. Of course I steal them both.

But I am about two miles from being done! I don’t want more beer and I am nauseous. But as you can see in the photo to the left, beer number eleven is about to be polished off. I am only 24 fluid ounces away from my 13-beer goal. In the Richmond, I nab the very 24-ounce Tecate which is depicted in the photo below. But then I experience a crazy loss of direction snafu that costs me an additional 45 minutes.

The last two beers are in my jug!

My intuition tells me that Golden Gate Park is to the East of 27th Avenue, and I stubbornly trust this intuition. I’ve lived here 14 years and I should know that it is completely wrong, but I convince myself to head in the incorrect direction for quite some time. I just have this inexplicable rock-solid feeling that the streets I’ve known for years go the opposite directions than they actually do, and all the maps are wrong, because I’m sure the park is right over there. It is at this point that I black out.

The finish line! I did it! In this photo, that IS vomit in my mouth.

God fucking knows how I end up at Golden Gate Park, but I eventually do. I remember none of this. I remember not a thing until I see the sign for Stow Lake. Holy shit, I’m finished! I somehow snap into immediate coherence, chugalug the last disgusting sip of beer, and go to see if someone will take my picture.

Two cute Asian girls comply. At first, they think I’m hilarious and we’re chatting it up. But as you can see by clicking on that photo, my mouth suddenly fills with about a gallon of vomit while they are taking my finish line picture.

They are repulsed at me. They don’t even ask if I’m okay, the one puts down my camera and they both scram. I pick up my camera, and then immediately puke hard again two more times in a row. I tried to photograph myself vomiting, ’cause I know some of you love that kind of stuff. But that’s not really a solid vomiting picture.

I know, not very graphic.

My final time is five hours, seven minutes. Probably an hour of that was confused wandering, but time is time and that’s my time. It’s funny how I un-blacked out right at the finish line, and all three vomits also came there at the finish line. You gotta wonder how much of blacking out and vomiting is psychological.

But beer is a very good thing for a run of six miles or less. After those six miles, it slows you down too much and it begins to taste completely awful.

You will not “die” if you drink a beer-per-mile while running a half marathon. But unless you’re cool with swallowing your finger, there will be times when you wish you were dead.

210 Responses to “The Beer-Every-Mile SF Half Marathon: 13 Beers in 13 Miles”

  1. Well done, you magnificent son of a bitch.

  2. You’re a hero to us all…

    \wipes tear from eye

  3. this needs to be made into a movie

  4. Ted Bohannon Says:

    That is clearly an MGD, not a High Life. People often confuse the two. Sometimes I pick up a “lady” of the evening that has an abnormally large back and an adam’s apple. I feel confused because I know “she” has a secret (and I don’t mean that awful wig), but I still enjoy it so much.

  5. Holy shit, Ted, you are correct! I have no excuse, considering I had sobered up when I wrote this.

  6. I host a radio show in ESPN radio in Portland Or and you need to come on the air. This is the greatest thing I have ever read. Drop me and line and let me know if you’d like to be a guest on my show.
    Jscukanec@entercom.com

  7. Someone should have filmed you. It would make an amazing documentary. Superbeer Me!

  8. I commend you, sir, on this athletic achievement.

  9. Very respectable. Well done.

    Next on your list should be the beer mile (takes place on a track, one beer per 400 meter lap. Four beers, four laps, speed not endurance is the focus, see beermile.com) and the 24x24x24 (24 beers, 24 miles, in 24 hours).

    • C-Bone, I actually used your Beermile.com site for reference on the alcohol content of the beers! So you do very respectable work too. Thanks for your awesome site!

      • Alas, the site is not mine but you can find me in the results a couple times. Big fan of running + beer.

        Looking forward to seeing the endeavor you have lined up next.

      • C-Bone,
        You must be a Hash House Harrier.

        I saw the SF H3′s in Golden Gate Park handing out beer around mile 14 (which I politely accepted); though, it was just a few ounces for me at 7 in the morning.

    • Hey C-Bone!

  10. Delta Sanchez Says:

    Didn’t some other crazed “athletes” attempt a 24x24x24 challenge in which they were to drink 24 beers and run 24 miles in 24 hours? This would have been a few years ago but I’m sure that they must have perished in the process…

  11. I chortled heartily reading this :)

  12. well done sir. well done. I’m puking just thinking about it

  13. LMFAO! Good job!

    This majorly reminds me of my experience back in ’88 during the GG Bridge 50th Anniversary walk . . . SF culture and places, booze, lots and lots and lots of people, and pure drunken insanity . . . I had been out all night drinking in the Haight, and ended up running around on the cliffs just north of the old Sutro Baths out at Ocean Beach, before embarking on the walk at ~5:30AM. Took 30 minutes to get to the middle of the span . . . took another 7-and-a-half hours after that to get back to the Presido where I remember collapsing under a pine tree and taking about a two-hour nap . . . There were ~850K people trying to “paricipate” in the event . . . 350K on the thing and another 250K at either end trying to get on . . . The weight of all the folks on the bridge was so heavy en toto that it flattened out the engineered convex curve of the road in the north to south direction until it was flat . . . something along the order of 1100 lbs. per linear foot on a road designed for 1150 lbs per linear foot . . . There was so much tension on the vertical cables that you could actually hear them hum as they vibrated! . . . It was packed asshole to elbow . . . For the first 1-2 hours I was still half-drunk, then in during the remaining time I became progressively more grossly hung-over . . . I remember looking at a transvestite in platforms who was close to 7 feet tall, smoking a cigarette right next to me, bitcching away, asking “Who ARE all of these people?” the cables humming, helicopters flying overhead, boats in the water below blasting their hrns, fog horns going off, and thinking to myself, “My God! This these are the last things I’m gonna see and hear in this life before this damned bridge snaps and we all go hurtling to our deaths in the ocean below!” . . . Fortunately, the bridge held and we all lived . . . But it was another grandly drunken SF moment, etched into eternity . . . Good job in upholding this fine tradition!

  14. This is absurd. I think Golden Gate park is on both the left and right of 27th? Though I guess that’s not the most absurd part of this whole thing. Your B2B liquor store map is impressive though. So is running across 8 lanes of traffic on the Golden Gate bridge. Congrats on the race!

  15. 23.7 min pace is awesome. Like a crawling baby or a gimpy sloth. It’s sort of an impossible time…like scoring zero points in a basketball game or scoring any points in a soccer (ahem fotbal) game.

  16. Hats off to you!

    I, too, am an exerciser while intoxicated, but I’ve never come close to this level. What you’ve done here has really raised the bar. Inspiring.

  17. Dude, you are my fucking hero! If you are ready and willing, I’ll renew my membership to the Century Club with you – 100 shots in 100 minutes. No running. It’s bad for the knees, which you’ll need for kneeling.

  18. This is the kind of bravado that inspires me to be drunk in public as frequently as possible.

  19. Dr. Chris Says:

    What a tool!
    You are a shoe-in for the coveted Foursquare “Douchebag” badge.
    My only regret is that you didn’t black out face down in the Castro, for one of those butt boys to claim your ass as their “trophy,”

    Get a fuckin life, act your age and for fuck’s sake, check yourself into Betty Ford PRONTO dude!

    You officially win Gavin Newsom’s “I’m a complete SF degenerate drunk” Award. Wear it proudly or just post it next to your framed 12 steps plaque for idiot alcoholics!

    Your that guy who will find his name on the UNOS list awaiting your next new liver to destroy.

    Hope you are proud of this idiotic achievement. You sure deserve it, you fucking lifeless asshole!

    If you ever fancy a trip to go snipe hunting, let me know. I can round up a posse to accomidate you.
    Loser!!!!

    • I do NOT use Foursquare.

    • Bayou Belle Says:

      wow. you need to loosen up.

      On-on!

    • “shoe-in” = shoo-in
      “Your that guy” = You’re that guy
      “accomidate” = accommodate

      Seems like a lot of anger, homophobia, and poor grammar for a doctor.

    • Turd Furguson Says:

      WOW

    • Sod off, pansy-ass cunt.

    • Here I am, reading a wonderfully entertaining story about an adventurous guy on an experimental journey. I scan through the comments, to see if the general reception matches mine. It does, until I get to this comment. You sir, are a first class jerk, and ironically, but unsurprisingly, your projection is blatant, as you oviously are the douchebag. Normally I would be more tolerant and just skip the lecture, as you obviously have been abused by an alcoholic, but you are so venomous that I couldn’t keep scrolling. Not only does getting drunk not make you an alcoholic, being an alcoholic does not make you a loser. Alcoholics are people, with feelings, and problems, and dreams, ect. just like others. Your corny insults are much more juvenile than this stunt could ever be. And thanks for denigrating gays and promoting rape during your brainless rant. That was an added bonus that no one could have done without. You should really seek out some psychological help to deal with your issues concerning alcoholics and your experience with them. And don’t go around calling yourself a doctor, you dumbass. It is not as if anyone would believe that anyway, but please.

    • Why do you care so damn much what other people do. As far as I’m concerned you all can go to hell. Kiss my dick asswipe!

    • Dr Chris I think the only loser here is you. You will live a drab life and will try to ensure that others also live a pointless boring life as yours.

    • Dr Chris, I don’t know you, but rest assured it is better that way. It is unfortunately too frequent that complete asshat squirrel-fletching twunts like you find your way onto the internet. This guy, who I also don’t know, did something. Unlike you, you sniveling coward. Get out of your mothers basement and fuck off. PS what the fuck does “accomidate” mean in the context of that abortion of a word salad you posted?

  20. wombat66 Says:

    Thank you! Your accounts are greatly appreciated! Looking forward to the movie.

  21. Smerkbich Says:

    I want to have babies with you.

  22. Nick Creatore Says:

    Whoop tee doo, you barely walked 13.1 miles drunk.

  23. Bill Davis Says:

    Bud Light presents: Real American Heroes [Real American Heroes]

    Today we salute you, Mr. One Beer Per Mile Marathoner. [Mr. One Beer Per Mile Marathoner]

    Without you, we’d never know how many miles you can go before upchucking. [Don't forget the barf bag]

    Carefully, you document your mad dash for humanity, all the while, keeping yourself cool. [keep up the pace]

    Going so far as to cross the golden gate bridge. [watch for dry heaves]

    Here’s to you, Mr. marathon running, beer drinking, pukebot. [Mr. marathon running, beer drinking, pukebot.]

  24. Under25 Says:

    Congratulations! You’ve discovered hashing. We do this every week.

    http://www.sfh3.com/

    One of our kennels here in DC hosted a race where they all did this.

  25. [...] } In true Swasted fashion, over at Exercising While Intoxicated they decided to try running the San Francisco Half Marathon while consuming a beer per mile. 13 [...]

  26. Kim MacDougall Says:

    Dang brother …. I want to start running with you !

  27. Great writing, and epic accomplishment. PLEASE come on our show and tell your story! We do a rock morning show in Southern California – we’re on facebook.com/stutiffanyandjimbo, or email us!
    Tiffany

    • The Beer Marathoner’s story would be almost as good as the guy who blew off picking his sister up from the hospital to watch those two lesbian nurses going at it in the parking lot.

      Mr. Beer Marathoner, you need to get on the Morning Stiffy pronto. This is right up their alley.

  28. Excellent coverage of your performance, which was in itself stellar. You make me proud to be a drunk.

  29. Beer and r*nning, what could be better? Are you a hasher?

    • Dany Heatley Speedwagon Says:

      Seriously, you need to look up “hashing” if you haven’t already. Feel free to email me all about it. It’s a drinking club with a running problem. Simple as that.

  30. On On my friend. Only in attempting the absurd can we achieve the impossible.

    • Granny Panties Says:

      Dr FAL,
      ON-ON from Tucson.
      This guy should try the 30 pack marathon. Thirty beers in 26 miles.
      First was in Tucson in 08. Second was in El Paso in 09. Third was in Fla this year. The brain child of a half mind named dr. Slow Ride who is the king of exercising while drinking. Actually he drinks (almost continuously) and exercises. Maybe Bflo would consider hosting in 11? You and Crash would make perfect hosts!
      Granny

  31. C.Bro.2.0 Says:

    This is hysterical. You’ve inspired me to run after drinking a couple beers now.

  32. you could always try the ultra version of the mile. 100, 100, 100.

    100 beers and 100 miles in 100 hours.

  33. I’m not sure whether to say congratulations or you’re an idiot… Anyways you have inspired me to drink a beer while performing an Ironman 70.3 series

  34. Spot on, I was one of the miserable runners at 6am on the bridge. You’ve inspired me, though. The San Jose half marathon is on October 3. I’ve heard it’s flat there.

    Let me know if you want to write for http://www.sfsixshooter.com!

  35. You’re freaking awsome! Are you a hasher? If not you should definately join. Would fit right in. We’re a drinking club with a rinning problem. We even pass out beer at the 22 mile mark at the Chicago Marathon each year. Thanks for the awesome read!

    ON-ON

  36. Wow, now I want to see this in the next olympics!

  37. Fizzydrink Says:

    And here I thought it odd that they offered free beer main finish line… ya coulda had yer last one there, “Sarah”.

  38. Bayou Belle Says:

    You NEED to come to NOLA. We do this kind of stuff regularly!

    Also, hit up your local hash house harriers to get your training in :)

    Great job! I am visiting SF in March, so excited.

  39. You, sir, are a champion. I just want to point out that performing that feat alone made it far more heroic. If you had some people following you, taking pictures all the time, then you’re no better than one of those Jackass jackasses. But braving the cruel, misunderstanding world alone… that shows true grit.

  40. Nice job! Keep it up. Inspirational!

  41. Very cool and hilarious. One could probably try that in the Vegas half marathon. It’s up and down the strip.

    • I am running the Las Vegas Marathon!!! It is 2 days before my 40th birthday. I am not going to drink much because I want to actually finish. But I met *will remain nameless* from the Rock’n’Roll Marathon marketing department and she said plenty of people do drink on that one. Are you running it???

  42. 1pumplane Says:

    The 30 Pack Marathon (3rd annual was this year) sounds like your next challenge:
    http://1pumplane.wordpress.com/2010/04/04/30-pack-marathon/

    • HOW DO I SCORE AN INVITE TO HASHSPACE????

      • 1pumplane Says:

        1st, go hashing (find yourself a Hash House Harriers kennel, they are everywhere…in Tennessee you might like Music City HHH, and there used to be a ChooChoo HHH in Chattanooga). If no one there offers you an invite, let me know at dr.slowride[ampersand]yahoo.com and I’ll do it. But go hashing first…I’ll expect a story of your virgin experience before I put in the invite.
        On on,
        dr. Slow Ride

      • 1pumplane Says:

        Ooops…I see yer in SF. Gypsies in the Palace H3 will treat you well with these credential.

    • Oh, you beat me to it! I posted about the same thing!

      Look me up on hashspace.

  43. If you did this in Portland you would have gotten to drink good beer and each refreshing ounce would have been cold and on tap! And you would never have gone 5 miles without a refill, there’s brew pubs on every block here. Its the law!

  44. As my grandmother would say, “You crazy!”

    But in a good way.

  45. [...] The Beer-Every-Mile SF Half Marathon: 13 Beers in 13 Miles Several of you told me that I was “going to die” if I drank 13 beers while running the San Francisco Half [...] [...]

  46. WTF: Dude Throws Beer & Ice On Rapper The Game & His Kids!!!…

    I found your entry interesting thus I’ve added a Trackback to it on my weblog :)…

  47. You make drinking sound like an achievement. You crazy nut. Congratulations. I am really impressed. See you at coat check or behind the bar of the next par-tay.

  48. Anuska Chorba Says:

    I’m so proud that I can say I knew you before you were famous…. Way to go Joe!

  49. Tracy Friend Says:

    Your story brought a tear to my eye… SF is my hometown and beer drinking my favorite sport. I never thought to add running to the equation, beautiful, just beautiful! Thank you :)

  50. Have you ever heard of the hash house harriers? We’re a drinking club with a running problem.

    Check it out…http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hash_House_Harriers

    ON-ON!

  51. Pubic Bone Spur Says:

    Dude, you’re a hasher, you just don’t know it yet… Go find your kennel!

    On On,

    PBS

  52. I want to do this next year, you are seriously my hero! Wow!

  53. [...] The Beer-Every-Mile SF Half Marathon: 13 Beers in 13 Miles [Exercising While Intoxicated] [...]

  54. [...] tell you that his goal was to drink a beer-a-mile while running the San Francisco half marathon. Read here to see how he fared and the hilarity that ensued on this epic journey.  He should definitely be nominated for one of [...]

  55. [...] this dude ran the SF half marathon while drinking beer [...]

  56. i’m not entirely sure what to say.

    amazing. youre my hero.

  57. Harry March Says:

    Good work suppressing the internal voice that no doubt was telling you this was a Bad Idea. And the external voices too, no doubt. And then documenting the execution of the Bad Idea for the enrichment of future generations.

  58. So you think this is some kind of special feat?
    Facts: 13 miles and 13 beers in five hours =
    2.6 beers per hour at a pace of 23 minutes per mile.

    What’s the big deal?

    Average human WALKING pace = 15 minutes per mile. And the amount of alcohol at 2.6 beers per hour would barely give you a buzz.

    As has been pointed our try a beer mile and really do some running and drinking.

  59. Impressive! Just think how easy those wussies had it running the half marathon without drinking. You’re the true athlete!

  60. Cptcoolman Says:

    I have cried only twice in my life…well, twice sober. The first time was when Rudy was carried off the field in the movie, um, Rudy.

    The second time is right now as I type this comment after reading your incredible adventure. My keyboard is sparking as the tears drop into the electronics. You are an inspiration to everyone everywhere :….)

  61. Anne Marie Says:

    why does this make me want to have babies?

  62. Great Story! i just read through your blogs and am intrigued. I for 1 find running High one of the greatest ways to run, and have been experimenting with smoking pot before, while and after running for 10 years. My Half Marathon PR of 1:24 was run after taking a few hits off a bowl. There is definitely a happy medium where the mental effects outweigh the physical effects of smoking.

    You should try the Medoc Marathon in Bordeaux France. 22 wine stops in 26.2 miles and everyone is in costume. There is also an oyster and meat stop. Truly the best marathon I’ve ever run.

    Keep on writing so we can all follow in your inebriated journey.

  63. Hey,

    Are you not the guy who impersonates Dick Cheney at local rock shows in San Francisco ?

    I think i saw you do a “Hasselhoff” once as well …

  64. ponderer Says:

    Nice report. I can’t get past the 5 hrs thing. Are you sure it wasn’t a 3 hour blackout or something? That’s just a preposterously long time to get 13 miles if you were doing any reasonable amount of running.

  65. For ur next challenge: bicycle pub crawl! Get it on video

  66. [...] You can read his San Francisco half marathon race report at his awesome blog exercisingwhileintoxicated [...]

  67. What you did is a very beautiful thing.

  68. RU On On? You’ve got to be a hasher. If so, check out the 30 Pack Beer Marathon. 26.2 miles 30 beers. El Paso Texas.

    On On!

  69. I myself have completed a 24x24x24 (drinking PBR), averaged probably around 7:45/mi pace for the running (the last 3 miler was rough, and the last 5 or so beers were terrible), and finished with a bit over a minute to spare. Thus I can relate to your awesome story. Keep up the good work my friend.

  70. Haha, loved it. You should join us for the House of Payne 5 Km Beer run. You’d fit right in http://www.houseofpaynebeerrun.blogspot.com

    Great job. haha.

  71. Great job, you are in the history books. You should try Manchester Pub Run in Conn.,6 beers in 3.2 miles, if you puke you’re disqualified.

  72. Oh my god this is hilarious! I have done 3 beers in 3 miles and wanted to puke. I guess I need to do more training. :)

  73. I absolutely love you.
    You are my hero and the face of fitness.

  74. dong strattleman Says:

    I am pretty sure you are a pussy and my brother can pound a 30pack and still keep a 8min pace. Shame on you…..

  75. Hey, you are famous. You’re on the letsrun front page.

    Well done. I for one am in awe of this awesomeness.

  76. Vincent Says:

    Balls up, dude. Where no man has gone before (within recent memory), and probably for good reason. You must have sweat like a mother! Impressive.

  77. Fuck yes!!

    Good work man

  78. [...] This dude ran a half marathon (13.1 miles) and drank a beer for every mile! Whoa. Why didn’t I think of this? Yes, he vomited, blacked-out, was nearly run down by traffic, but no pain, no malt liquor or whatever. He says: Perhaps even more problematic are the goddamned do-gooders and paramedics onhand in case of medical emergencies. They will take your swerving, stumbling, and vomiting as signs of delirium or fatigue, and then get all interventionny and try to take away your beer. That can not happen. [...]

  79. Hi!
    I wasn’t sure how many other people had the same idea as me out there and I found this blog. A few days ago, I ran what I like to call the Century Beer Half Marathon. Instead of the 1 beer per mile, I thought to make it 100 ounces in 100 minutes while completing the 13.1 distance. Obviously, the time factor was the biggest part of the challenge. I successfully completed the beer and distance and was only about 10 minutes over the time, partly due to a previously sore hip and ankle. I think that one of these days I will be able to do it all in 1:40′ or less. The way I carried the beer was in a 3 L CamelBak backpack. It worked fabulous since the beer always comes from the bottom of the bladder.

  80. [...] guy consumed 13 beers while running the San Fran half marathon (13 miles). Then he blogged about it (Exercising While Intoxicated). Several of you told me that I was “going to die” if I drank 13 [...]

  81. [...] I am writing it here so that I stick to it (and my friends don’t try to influence me otherwise ) – I will not have more than one glass of wine on days before long runs.  After a 10 mile run the day after Cinco de Mayo and a 7 mile run last Friday after dinner at a byob, I vow never again.  This guy is hysterical, but my runs will not resemble this one. [...]

  82. Wow. You really are the man. I will never even try to equal your feat of supreme drinking valor.

  83. [...] Beers in 13 Miles Several of you told me that I was “going to die” if I drank 13 beers while running the San Francisco Half Marathon. I did not [...]

  84. [...] the story of a man who drank a beer every mile of a half-marathon. Related posts:Approval ratings in [...]

  85. [...] the Race for the Cure this weekend. Stace is. Here’s my only tip – don’t do this. Published: August 3, 2010 Filed Under: morning news, music Leave a Comment Name: [...]

  86. Irish Al Says:

    Outstanding work. Please come and do the Dublin marathon. You won’t even have to carry beer, there’s more than enough pubs along the way.

  87. I am inspired! Never had this much fun running 13.1. Haha!

  88. [...] I puke three times, blacked out for miles 11 and 12, and needed five hours to finish. This is my story. [...]

  89. [...] While Intoxicated Holy fuck, dude. Just looking at the pictures makes me [...]

  90. [...] some dude decided to perform a stunt for his website. Several of you told me that I was “going to die” if I drank 13 beers while [...]

  91. [...] Original Article Possibly related posts: (automatically generated)Off Topic: Six More Miles: The Strange Story of My First MarathonThe Goal 13:13:3Fit Philanthropy: Running 2,500 Miles for AIDS Orphans [...]

  92. Come join the Texas hashers at the 30-pack marathon in El Paso!

  93. [...] Exercising while Intoxicated, a blog dedicated to just that, tells of a runner who drank a beer ever mile for the San Francisco Half-Marathon: I puked three times, blacked out for miles 11 and 12, and [...]

  94. [...] The Beer-Every-Mile SF Half Marathon: 13 Beers in 13 Miles [...]

  95. [...] do we not have events like this in Columbia? (Or do we just call them “Mizzou home football [...]

  96. [...] you’re cool with swallowing your finger, there will be times when you wish you were dead.” [Excercising While Intoxicated] // Share and [...]

  97. We’re totally doing the Tour de Franzia. You should play. :)

  98. WOW! And…that photo of you with vomit still in your mouth before spewing is priceless.

  99. Ha, this is one hell of a cool blog entry. I hope you’re talking to publishers because you should be.

  100. ohmygodfathers Says:

    I once ran with a beer. To the bar when I realised they’d called last orders. I try and sit closer to the bar now. It’s easier on the knees.

  101. I once ran drunk and blacked out, but unlike you I didn’t snap out of it at the finish line, but when my soft and precious face smacked against the hard and unapologetic concrete.

    You are a rock star!

  102. [...] The Beer-Every-Mile SF Half Marathon: 13 Beers in 13 Miles « Exercising While Intoxicated. Category: Life, Stuff we do and like Tags: crazy, half marathon, running [...]

  103. [...] Apologies for those who already have seen this on Popbitch this week… http://exercisingwhileintoxicated.wo…s-in-13-miles/ [...]

  104. [...] A runner tries to drink a beer every mile, and regrets [...]

  105. Are you American?

    If so this is the type of endeavour that saves my low opinion of the USA which is mainly fuelled by the religous nuts and general do nothing do goodie health and safety freaks that the States appears to produce in vast numbers.

    Well done ol’ boy, from a Brit.

  106. Are you open to interviews??

    If so, hit me up at leapsloth14@hotmail.com

    Interview would be posted on HTML Giant or my blog.

  107. About sixty people have said so already, but please, PLEASE join your local hash kennel. They will welcome your with open arms and a cheap, warm beer.

    ON-ON from Motown-Ann Arbor H3!

  108. BEER NEAR! Look up the hashers in San Francisco here’s one website: http://www.sfh3.com Beer and running is as natural as a PBJ.

    ON-ON from Motown-Ann Arbor Hash House Harriers.
    (Pssst – the beer is at 24.5 at the Free Press Marathon)

  109. ho van gar-den Says:

    You amazing bastard.

  110. [...] A runner tries to drink a beer every mile, and regrets it. [...]

  111. exercising while intoxcated must be very funny, hahahaaa :)))

  112. [...] 8/15/10 Strength Rest WOD Rest CF Football Here CF Endurance Here Skinny Girls Still Exist 13 Beers in 13 Miles: The Beer-Every-Mile San Fran Half-Marathon Former Vegan Rips the Religion of Vegetarianism Don’t try this at home August 14th, 2010 | [...]

  113. Four days marches in Nijmegen, Netherlands.
    Very interesting links and a walking prevention blog.
    Also for accomodations during this event, you are on the right place.

  114. I couldve never done what this man has done

  115. You are the man!

  116. Come to Iowa and join RAGBRAI. 7 day bike across Iowa. 8 days heavy intoxication every minute. I have a hard time putting down enough calories to support biking if I don’t drink. It is 8 days because you have the bus ride to the start. I think we put down somewhere around 25 cases in 5 hours during the bus ride. You obviously one that would probably enjoy this crazy 7 day event. Congrats or 13 in 13!

  117. Reading this made my day…

    WIZZDOM

  118. This has absolutely made my year.

    gilbert realtor

  119. My friend, you ran the real marathon.

    The others will have forgotten their marathon in 4 weeks. And, I doubt they would have the sheer inspiration to start so late, and weave around the course identified as “Sarah”.

  120. hah freaking awesome. you are my idol.

  121. You sir, are a gentleman and a rebel. I can only hope that I am able to do the same!

  122. Are you from Wisconsin? LOL

  123. DO IT SMOKING CRACK ROCKS. GO HARD OR GO HOME FAGGOT.

  124. Good job man. If I were to do this, I WOULD die. I lack the specific enzyme to metabolize the toxin that is a byproduct of alcohol (i.e. cannot clear alcohol quick enough).

  125. [...] Staying with sportsmen who’ve, ummmm, ‘overindulged’, here’s a sporting event that may be popular with certain nuggety, Tasmanian former batsmen… find out what sport it is here. [...]

  126. now THIS inspires me to get off my ass and run (my general rule is “will run only when being chased and even then it’s gotta be something really scary”). substitute vodka cocktails for beer and i’m totally in.

  127. [...] arrest-y. To be honest the only reason I’m even posting this is have an excuse to link to a much better example of drinking in public. If you want to achieve drinking greatness you gotta aim a little higher than [...]

  128. I admire your enthusiasm. I’d have happily thought about every detail of the plan but I’d never try that out with my own body. Thanks so much for the detailed record!

    However, in rigorous scientific experimenting, you need to reduce the number of variables. In particular, you should repeat the whole thing but for god’s sake stick to one type of beer only! You must have puked just because of the ugly mix.

  129. Must be very hard to carry on with that much beer. How did you do it?

  130. LOL…sounds like you a had a goodtime by yourself drinking and running around they city like a big Idiot….BUT….this is how Caribbana in Toronto is like. A whole day of running around and drinking…with some periods of black outs…..hahaha.

  131. [...] I’m off to get in training for the beer every mile half-marathon – 13 beers in 13 miles… [...]

  132. [...] it does give me a chance to link to one of my favorite blogs, Exercising While Intoxicated and the fantastic story of a man—nay, a god—who drank a beer every half mile of a half marathon. var OB_langJS = [...]

  133. This is by far the greatest thing ever and I am thinking bout doing in the music city marathon this year. Only i’ll be doing shots as I HATE beer.

  134. Hey man. Can I interview you for HTML GIANT?

  135. [...] July, Joe ran the San Francisco Half Marathon (13.1) miles while drinking 13.1 beers, or one beer every mile along the way. I decided to interview the [...]

  136. the article that you serve really interest me to read further, I hope every visitor who comes to this site can benefit from what you have posted …

  137. what I’m looking for it here, you make it so good.

  138. LMFAO. As a hasher, I can only laugh at this and hold you in high regard. This has to be the funniest thing I’ve read in quite sometime online. CHEERS!!

  139. Cyprus Sport Event…

    [...]The Beer-Every-Mile SF Half Marathon: 13 Beers in 13 Miles « Exercising While Intoxicated[...]…

  140. enniewidhia Says:

    Dear my friend, how are you? I like your site but i don’t know about this topic, but i want to leave good comment to this site. anyway Good work my friend! Keep sharing.
    Best Regard : Smile

  141. Alicia Rodriguez Says:

    this makes me want to meet you and have a beer with you.

    hahaha

  142. nfs the run serial…

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  144. [...] can’t wait for my next one.  This opens up a whole new world of exciting possibilities, from beer-marathons, to themed, costumed-marathons, to adventure [...]

  145. inspirational!!

  146. If you ever do it again, I’ve got 5 words for you: Cooler in a jogging stroller. It’ll keep your drinks cold and they won’t get shaken.

  147. Brilliant!!!! Absolutely amazing!!!!

  148. I think I’m in love with you.

  149. BJtheZombieKLLR Says:

    I just found this page and im glad to see that there is some one eles that thinks drinking and working out can be a good idea. I have only tried short runs while drinking 3-4 miles but i really like doing is rucking/hiking. That way i dont have to worry about not being able to carry enough beer. I’ll put about 10-20 lbs of ice in a big back pack and then drop a 30 pk into it. I’ll normally drink about a beer every 1/4 mile or 1/2 mile. Though i have a tendancy to drink more.

  150. I WANT TO BE YOUR FRIEND

  151. Reblogged this on lifes little epiphanies… and commented:
    HILARIOUS. I actually entertained this very idea for the Annapolis Half Marathon this December, to you know keep me going, but after reading this post, I know I can’t do the action of drinking and running justice as this man did. Congrats sir!

  152. This is so funny i could barely finish reading i was laughing so hard. The difference? Showmanship!

  153. I love your story and feel a GORUCK Challenge would be right up your alley! The marriage of beer and physical fitness should be shared with friends. Embrace the suck together!

  154. I thought I was crazy with my personal best. One year on st paty’s day( of course) I ran a half marathon distance out and back, pub to pub. Had a pint on Guinness then ran to the next town. Had another pint, ran back and had a few. Never lost it. But gladly accepted the ride home.

  155. great american beer festival Says:

    Thanks for sharing your info. I really appreciate your efforts and I will
    be waiting for your further post thanks once again.

  156. Claping hands and bowing to your physical perfection……… Good drills mate :-)

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  169. Hey man, just found this and wanted to let you know this is very impressive and I applaud you, but I’m going to beat your record. Also live in SF – I run a 1:30 half sober and used to hold the beer 2-mile world record before Josh Harris broke it with his questionable puke-every-lap performance. I think I can do this sub-3 hours. Stay tuned.

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