13 Beers in 13 Miles: Goals for the SF Half Marathon
Nothing new here since Bay to Breakers, so I’m compelled to just gin up random new reasons to mix exercise with alcohol consumption.
I’m signed up for this Sunday’s San Francisco Half Marathon. To make things way more awesome and interesting, I’m going to down a beer every single mile — 13 beers over 13.1 miles — and blog the effects of this. There will be photos and, if I can figure out how within two days, video.
I would have to expect that I’m going to vomit at least once. I don’t frankly recall the last time I drank 13 beers in a row. I would also imagine that I will black out, which poses a challenge — how can one accurately blog what one experienced blacked out drunk?
I know quite a few of you just adore the vomit anecdotes, so I will make special efforts to capture this verite as accurately as possible. I will actually try to self-photograph while vomiting, as some skeptics will believe I did this stunt only if they see the documented suffering.
Surely there will be large sections of the race of which I have no memory, predictably in the later stages. I’ve studied the Half Marathon course for where each mile marker is located, and will record a video or voicemail at each. Does anyone know this Mel Gibson scandal technology where I can post voicemails up on the internet?
There is the possibility that I’ll get arrested, but I imagine I that can just talk my way out of it and dump the beer compliantly and then just buy more.
I do not entertain the possibility that I will be busted by another tattletale runner. My beer concealment and handling schemes, I don’t mind telling you, are ingenious. Handling a tricky, carbonated beverage such as beer on a run will be discussed in a post tomorrow. Beer concealing methods will be revealed Monday morning, when the stunt is safely already done.